Dear Santa, I'm a banker. Hey, please, don't confuse me with the bankers: they're the ones who decide the banks' strategies, their business plans, and which clients to lend money to; but they're also the ones who created the bulk of the bad debts and impaired loans (I'll give you some inside information: in November it was over 300 billion euros, but how many gifts can you buy with that money!). Some are under judicial investigation, others are in prison, and someone has the bank they manage placed under special administration (you know, we speak English here). Then, when they all get together, the bankers terminate our banker contracts.
So, let me explain who we bankers are: we're the ones who have to be vigilant every day about enforcing anti-money laundering laws, MiFID regulations, and customer due diligence, because if we make a mistake, we'll be held accountable in court. We're the ones who receive constant emails and phone calls every day soliciting people to sell washing machines, tablets, and phones, as if we were in a supermarket rather than a bank. And let's not forget that when they present you with a "basket" of financial products for sale, sometimes you'd actually want to sell them washing machines, tablets, and so on. We're the ones who prepare the paperwork for credit and mortgage applications, but then backtrack because the banks' ratios don't allow for further credit (of course, with the bad debts I mentioned!). We bankers are the ones who, in the collective imagination, get 18 monthly salaries, but in reality, we get 13 like all the other workers, and when the bankers (the ones mentioned above, remember) don't post a deficit, then we get a productivity bonus.
Hey Santa, don't think that bankers earn the same as bankers: a newly hired banker has a net monthly salary of around 1,200 euros, while the average banker is almost 100,000 euros!
Sorry, Santa, I got carried away. I told you about my problems and still haven't told you why I'm writing to you and, above all, whether I deserve the gift I'm asking for.
Well
I believe we bank workers have done well: in recent years, we have not received pay raises to allow 50,000 redundant colleagues (meaning they would have been laid off) to take early retirement; we have also enabled the hiring of 10,000 young people. Yes, you understood correctly, all of this was paid for with our contractual waivers, with our solidarity as bank employees.
So, I finally come to the question: what do you say, do we deserve to have a better counterpart (i.e. the bankers)?
What do you mean? Maybe there are some, but they're a little shy and get overwhelmed by the more arrogant ones?
Well, then I ask you to give the former a little courage, and the latter a little peace, because we bankers have more than enough of it.
With love.
